England: 147
Australia: 0/46
Australia wins by 10 wickets

It is finished. Australia has won the Ashes in the most convincing fashion possible, with a 5-0 rout of what really is a pretty decent England team.

I previously mentioned the need for KP to bat through to the end of the England innings. Well, he lasted 3 balls, and with England’s leading batsman back in the pavilion, the match was all but over. Chris Read looked out of his depth, scoring just the one boundary before being beautifully caught by Ponting in the slips. Harmison and Anderson delayed the inevitable with some solid defensive work, but a lead of just 45 was never going to provide a challenge for the opposition. Appropriately, it was Glenn McGrath who took the 10th wicket with his final ball in Test match cricket.

When the Australians came out to bat, the England team admirably formed a guard of honour for the retiring Langer. Ironically, the English bowling to the Australians in the second innings was amongst the finest we’ve seen all summer. Anderson and Harmison were bowling well, and Hayden and Langer had to tread carefully to avoid some good line and length stuff. They survived, and the emotion of the occasion was almost becoming too much for Langer. With 7 runs needed, he asked Haydos for a quick finish. His good mate obliged, hitting a mammoth six over mid-on to bring the scores level. The two batsmen had another brief chat in the middle of the pitch, with the Queenslander perhaps asking the retiring Langer if he would like to hit the winning runs. Langer obviously wasn’t too fussed, as Hayden flicked the next ball for four and Australia had won by 10 wickets.

For Ponting, this was a significant and emotional time:

“Even when we took the last wicket, to think that would be the last time we’d be walking off with Glenn and Shane …
I was hoping to get a chance to bat with Lang. To realise that was the last opportunity I was going to have, it’s a pretty emotional time.

I grabbed hold of Michael Clarke on the way around the ground and had a word about the next era. For the next few years, hopefully it’s he and I and Michael Hussey being able to be the leaders and win games for our country.

I told him to sit back and have a look around. It’s 80-something years since its happened and it’s a moment we should all savour.”
- Ricky Ponting

Australia: 393
England: 5/114

Earlier in this Test the Aussie press were praising England for finally giving Australia a challenge. That challenge ended on day three at the SCG.

The tourists started off the day pretty well, reducing Australia to 6 for 260. This was on par with England’s 6 for 258, but the final 5 English batsmen could add just 4 runs to the total, whereas Australia’s final 5 added 173. Australia’s success was in large part due to the batting of Shane Warne, who top scored with 71. If Warnie ever wins an Academy Award - and who’s to say he won’t - he will surely be thanking Paul Collingwood for giving him the inspiration to go on. Whilst Warne was batting, Collingwood started to give him a bit of his best sledging, and typically, the Aussie responded in kind:

“You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at the Oval? It’s an embarrassment.”
- Shane Warne to Paul Collingwood

Warnie was smashing the ball to the fence, and Collingwood was giving him lip from the slips. The legspinner was loving it:

“It was making me concentrate. It was making me more determined. It was all a bit of fun.
That’s the way he wanted to play it and I was happy to play that game. It suits me fine.”
- Shane Warne

Trailing by 102 runs on the first innings, England’s top order batsmen needed to play well. They didn’t, and with a lead of just 12 runs and only 5 wickets in hand, they are looking down the barrell at yet another loss. They’ll need Pietersen to play through to the end, adding at least another 150 to the total. This would seem unlikely, but anything less than that should be too easy for the Australians to overhaul.

If Paul Collingwood’s MBE is an embarrassment, then 5-0 would be even worse.

England: 291
Australia: 4/188

It really was one of those days. England started off the day in a pretty strong position, then completely fell apart, but fought back really well to be on top once again, before allowing Australia to go slightly ahead by stumps.

Australia bowled pretty well in the morning session, with the final 6 English wickets falling for just 57 runs, which is almost as bad as their disastrous 2nd innings in Adelaide where the final 6 added just 56 runs to the total. This 2nd day Sydney wicket is a pretty decent place to bat. All of England’s recognised batsmen made a start, but only Bell (71) and Flintoff (89) were able to knock up half centuries. It shouldn’t have been that bad.

Or so it seemed.

Like England, Australia’s batsmen all put runs on the board, and seemed settled at the crease. Yet somehow the bowlers were able to strike back, and so far, none of the Australians have managed to get past 50. That may change on day three, with Hussey and Symonds looking to stick around for a while and give Australia at least a bit of a lead. However, as we saw today, there is enough in the pitch for the bowlers to trouble the willow wielders, so anything could happen.

England: 4/234

Neither side can really claim victory after the first day at the SCG. England won the toss, but they lost Matthew Hoggard with a side strain. He was replaced by the once rejected James Anderson, and the Aussie batsmen were smiling.

The Australians were led out onto the field by their 3 retirees - Warne, McGrath, and Langer. McGrath bowled the first over of the day, but Strauss and Cook survived to put on their most successful opening partnership of the summer. It didn’t last long, as they were both out caught behind.

In stepped Bell and Pietersen and they put on a useful 108 run partnership. Pietersen was trying all sorts of fancy footwork as he waltzed his way down the pitch to the bowlers, and looks a strong contender for the next season of Dancing With The Stars. Perhaps he had Skyhooks on his mind, because that’s exactly what happened when he didn’t quite get onto one and a nice catch was taken by Mr Cricket at midwicket.

Ian Bell followed KP back to the pavilion a few minutes later, but then Captain Freddie came in and whacked the ball around, taking England safely through to stumps. England will be hoping for more of the same this morning, and would be disappointed with anything less than 400. It’s a pretty decent batting strip, and I reckon the locals will be confident of putting on a large total themselves, so England will need to perform well. However, the Australians will have the new ball this morning and, if Clark and McGrath can get it to move around, they might pick up a couple of early wickets and then they can have a crack at this long England tail.

Australia: 419
England: 161
Australia wins by an innings and 99 runs

It was yet another comfortable win for the Australians, with all of the bowlers contributing in another standout performance. Brett Lee’s 4 wickets were just reward for the way he bowled … he obviously had plenty of Weet-Bix for breakfast. Stuart Clark also bowled beautifully, and together with Lee’s bag of 4, there weren’t too many left for Messrs Warne and McGrath.

For the English, Chris Read did really well behind the stumps, taking 6 catches, and making 26no with the bat. It was to be expected, after all, for once again England has brought a capable player into the side too late for him to have any positive impact on the series.

The Australian and English media have been calling for Kevin Pietersen’s elevation to number 4, and finally the England management gave in, though one wonders whether the timing was appropriate. England were struggling at 2 for 48 when ‘The Ego’ surprisingly came out to bat one spot higher than he has all summer. The experiment was allegedly KP’s suggestion, though it didn’t work out with the former South African adding just 1 run to the England total before being bowled by a delicious Stuart Clark off cutter.

Aside from that the only other real talking point was the poor umpiring from Rudi Koertzen, who seemed intent on not giving any LBW decisions for the entire match. I remember when I did a season as a professional umpire. In one game I was far too generous with my LBW dismissals, raising the finger for just about anything. The day after the game I received a call from the cricket association’s umpiring chief, who, in a very kind way, reminded me that I should be a little more judicious in my decision making. I’d reckon Rudi Koertzen might be receiving a similar phone call.

So now we head off to Sydney for the fifth Test. The Australians are red hot favourites to win the final Test in the harbour city, with England looking about as demoralised as they have all tour. We all scoffed at Glenn McGrath’s predictions that Australia would win 5-0, and now he gets the chance to prove us all wrong in his final Test.

Australia: 7/372

England were able to get those quick wickets in the morning session, and were completely dominating until they came up against a couple of big Queenslanders. Matty Hayden and his good mate Andrew Symonds took control, putting on 279 runs (the sixth highest partnership in Test history for the sixth wicket) and all but securing the game for Australia.

For Symonds, this innings may prove to be as monumental as his big century at the 2003 World Cup. His Test career has so far been much like his one day career pre-2003 - lots of potential, and the occasional useful knock, but nothing of substance. He now has a Test 150, and will have the opportunity to add to that on day three at the MCG. After picking up a couple of handy wickets during the Perth Test, Symonds may finally develop into the batting all-rounder that he has always promised.

His partner in crime was Matty Hayden, who has also been a little short on runs so far in this series. His 27th Test Match hundred might be enough to keep those calling for his retirement quiet for a little longer, as his form in this game certainly indicates that Haydos could play out another season at least.

As far as England is concerned, this was yet another day when they looked great for a session, and then they completely lost it. Granted, they did have a few poor umpiring decisions go against them, but so did the Aussies. The difference between the two sides is that the Australians create more opportunities, so that if they don’t get them with the LBW, then they’ll just bowl ‘em out.

England: 159
Australia: 2/48

The series is all over as far as a final result is concerned, but the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne is always special, and with the forthcoming retirements of a couple of old Aussies this one’s particularly ’shuper’ (thank you, Richie). Around 4 million fans turned up at the ‘G today, and although not quite a ground record, it certainly added a bit of atmosphere to the place.

England batted first on what turned out to be a bowlers wicket. They started off ok, although the scoring rate was dreadfully slow, chugging along at just 2 runs an over. It looked like Adelaide all over again, especially once the wickets started to fall. Warnie picked up his 700th with a ripper of a delivery to clean bowl Andrew Strauss for 50, and from there it was all Australia. Pietersen continues to impress with the bat, leaving most people wondering why he doesn’t come in at number 3 or 4. Glenn McGrath didn’t get amongst the wickets today, but his solitary dismissal of Mahmood gave him 150 wickets against England. Well done, Ooh Aah!

Chris Read came into the squad as replacement for Geraint Jones, and immediately had an impact. He made just 3 runs, but that’s, like, 300% more runs than Jones made in two innings at Perth. Someone has mentioned that the England bowlers don’t really like the new guy, so we’ll have to watch out for any signs of team disharmony over the coming days.

The Australians started off really well, but with the late dismissal of Langer and nightwatchman Lee, England were able to get some positives out of the day. If the tourists can grab a few quick ones tomorrow morning then they might be a chance. But, as seems more likely, Australia put on a bit of a run feast, then it’s pretty much all over.

Australia wins by 206 runs

It was what we all expected today - a quick and painless victory to the Australians. The urn is returned to the place where it was born.

Pietersen and Flintoff were cautious, then adventurous, and for a while there I thought they might be having a crack. Flintoff himself admitted that he dared to dream, but that all came crashing down when he was bowled by the Sheik of Tweak, Shane Warne. Including the wicket of Flintoff, England lost their last 5 wickets for just 14 runs.

The final man to be dismissed was, ironically, Monty Panesar. It was Ashley Giles who hit the winning runs for England last year at Trent Bridge, and now it is Giles’ replacement who is the last man out, giving the Ashes back to Australia. Not that the Montster can be blamed in any way. He played brilliantly in Perth, with match figures of 8 for 237. That puts him second only to Matthew Hoggard in the number of wickets taken in the series, and he’s only played one Test out of the three. He also leads the bowling averages for England, being the only one under 30.

With that last wicket out of the way, the Australians moved to celebration. This win meant a lot to them, as much as the win last year did for England. Sure, England only held the Ashes urn for 15 months, the shortest duration in Ashes history, but the Aussies were deeply hurt by that loss last year, and it was that drive and determination that pushed them ever onward in this series. Perhaps the England team hit the celebratory drinks a bit too hard post-Ashes 2005, and they haven’t quite recovered. The shock of a win over the old enemy was a bit too much to take. Or perhaps the Australians were simply too good too much of the time. England played really well at times, and dominated for a few days, but they just couldn’t keep it up constantly in the way they were able to do successfully last year.

So now we move on to Melbourne for the famous Boxing Day Test, and then to Sydney, a potential spinner’s paradise. England will be playing for pride, but will also feel deflated following their losses in the first 3 games. Australia have tended to drop their game after wrapping up a series, but they seem pretty determined this year, perhaps more than they have in the past. So all up it’s difficult to predict a result. If England are to win one of the final Tests then they will need a couple of superb individual efforts - perhaps a huge century from Andrew Strauss, or a big haul of wickets by Monty Panesar. Australia simply needs to keep doing what it’s doing. The middle order of Ponting, Hussey and Clarke looks unstoppable, with the 3 of them all averaging over 100 for the series. That’s where Australia will need to be defeated. Take out those middle order runs and Australia’s in trouble. But then that’s easy to say, and not so easy to do.

England: 5/265

I always thought it would be a tough day for Australia’s bowlers, and they actually performed better than I expected. I thought they might only be able to pull off the one wicket today, but they were eventually able to get 4 of them, the final 2 in the third last over of the day. Pietersen looks pretty determined, and could be there for a while yet. Not wanting to be outdone, I actually thought The Ego might try and replicate the hitting of Adam Gilchrist. Maybe that will come on the final day.

For the first session and a half, Alastair Cook and Ian Bell were in control. The two of them batted really well, putting on 170 for the second wicket. With his first Ashes century out of the way, Cook possibly had just the slightest drop in concentration a short time later, and was dismissed for 116:

“I’ll sit back tonight and think, ‘Yeah I got a hundred’, but I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t have that nagging thing I could be walking out tomorrow and posting a bigger one and getting us closer to our target.”
- Alastair Cook

Matthew Hoggard came in as nightwatchman, but survived just 2 balls. Then in stepped captain Flintoff, and it didn’t take long to see that the Australians no longer feared the batting of the great Lancastrian. When Pietersen came on strike, the field would spread to encourage the single and allow the Aussies to have a crack at the England captain, who has been notoriously short on runs all series. Pietersen obliged, though at the time I wondered if Pietersen might actually deny the runs on offer in order to maintain the strike. With Flintoff batting, the field came in and the pressure was mounted. He survived the torment yesterday, and will need to survive for at least 40 overs today if England hope to hang on.

Day five will be interesting. Morning showers and storms are expected, which could throw a whole number of things into the mix. You can see a rainfall radar image of any rain around Perth here. Provided we get enough overs in, I can’t see England surviving a full day with only 5 wickets in hand. Flintoff and Giles will both need a vastly improved performance, and although Harmison and Panesar have shown that they know how to throw a bat around, they aren’t the sort to last for a session or more. So it’s all up to Pietersen and Flintoff.

What are others saying?

“And Saturday was probably the day we handed back the Ashes as well, as their batsmen scored 400 runs on a wicket we should have been still batting on.
Once again, there was an opportunity to get back in the series—and it slipped through our fingers.
We will fight all the way but it is becoming increasingly clear that our best is not good enough against this great Aussie side.”
- Kevin Pietersen

“In the past 20 years Ashes series have been career-defining moments for many England captains and coaches, but this tour has been weighed down more than most with misfortunes, mishaps and misjudgments. The debate about where it leaves Duncan Fletcher as coach and Andrew Flintoff as captain will probably rage until the end.”
- Sunday Times

“We have been outplayed by the aussies. It has been painful to watch and it seems we have gone backwards. We need a change of leadership.”
- nonuffin’s blog

Australia: 5/527 dec.
England: 1/19

What a day! Michael Clarke scored his second century in as many Tests, Mike Hussey continued his Ashes run feast with another hundred, and then Adam Gilchrist came on and took 57 balls to score the second fastest century in Test match history (Vic Richards put on a century against England in 1986 in just 56 balls). I was having dinner with my wife and my parents at the time, so I didn’t get to see much of it. Gilchrist scored so quickly that when we started our meal he was just 12 years old and captain of the Deniliquin South Primary School team. When we tuned in 30 minutes later he’d knocked up a hundred against England, and quite possibly sealed the Ashes for Australia. You can see a ‘wagon wheel’ of his scoring shots here. Will over at The Corridor called it “an umissable horror show”. For the Australian fans it was like watching a Hollywood feel-good movie, only better because there was no Meg Ryan.

I thought England’s bowling was generally pretty good, especially Panesar early in the day. However, England just couldn’t make the most of their opportunities, with Jones making a mess of what should have been an easy stumping when Clarke was on 2. No big deal … the Aussie number 5 only went on to make 135 not out. And then there were a couple of dropped catches - Jones (again!!) had to almost push Kevin Pietersen out of the way to get to a skied hook from Hussey, and the ball promptly went to ground. Then Strauss dropped one at first slip, and watched the ball race away to the boundary. Then there were the dropped catches in the crowd from Gilly’s sixes - all four of them.

What now for England? Well, they basically need to try and bat for as long as possible. That shouldn’t be too difficult on this track, as it has flattened out a fair bit. If they can keep their heads on, they should be able to put a few decent partnerships together. Although an England victory seems about as close to impossible as you can get, if they bat smart they should be able to take the match into the fifth day, and then who knows, maybe they can hold on for a draw. Then again, it could all be over by tea on Sunday.